GERALD: So this is how they run things here, eh?
This was actually a rhetorical question. Gerald didn’t expect anyone to be listening, let alone care to respond.
CLASSMATE: You’re telling me, the professor better not be extending class past 4:30. I have practice to get to and I’m trying to grab a bite to eat. I’m starved.
GERALD: I wonder what’s keeping mister...professor…Colorado, wait, is that a typo? Who do you show teaching this class?
CLASSMATE: Ha, I’m showing Cecil Colorado too. Weird.
Gerald got awkward when it came to small talk. He had inadvertently provided the catalyst for it again by thinking out loud. For someone who wasn’t able withstand some light banter, Gerald sure got himself involved in the process fairly frequently. Was the exchange now over? Was Gerald obligated to keep his end of the social bargain going? He noticed his classmate start to tap his pencil on his desk. Gerald was sitting in the row behind this classmate, which required him to lean over in order to avoid talking to the back of his head.
GERALD: So, you say you have practice? Are you on the football team?
CLASSMATE: Not quite. Lacrosse. Football team looks good this year. You play?
GERALD: No…do I look like I play?
Denny turned around and gave Gerald an once-over.
CLASSMATE: No, you don’t.
GERALD: The name’s Gerald Eickel.
Gerald put his hand out. Denny turned around one more time and extended his own. Denny sure had a firm grip. Gerald’s was rather flimsy…and moist.
CLASSMATE: Denny Ramirez. Nice to meet you.
GERALD: Likewise.
Denny turned back around to face the lectern. Feelings of awkwardness began to creep over Gerald once again. They quickly gave way to startle as the auditorium door swung open. The entire class turned around, expecting to find a rather tardy Professor Colorado arriving fashionably late. Instead they were treated to the chiseled jawline and piercing blue eyes of freshman outside linebacker, C.J. Frank. Seats were scare in the auditorium that first day of class. Word had gotten out that American Politics 101 with Cecil Colorado was a ‘gimme’ class where attendance wasn’t taken. All a crafty student would have to do would be show up for the mid-term and final exams to pass. It was a very popular class among the athletic crowd.
C.J. took his time sauntering down the auditorium stairs, surveying the landscape, closer to the four remaining seats in the classroom. He didn’t know anyone at Boston University, let alone anyone in Greater Boston, so selecting his seat in his first class was akin to choosing your first best friend in kindergarten. Yes, C.J. sure took his time so he could assess each open seat and the undergraduate occupying the ones next to it. First criteria, gender. Nope. No empty seats next to females. Second criteria, attractiveness. Moot. Third criteria, athletic prowess. C.J.’s eyes fell on the empty seat next to Gerald. While not official criteria, C.J. found himself to be rather uncomfortable around people of color. C.J. did not discriminate; ANY person of ANY color made him uncomfortable. At that point Gerald had noticed that C.J. way eyeballing the seat next to him.
GERALD: Would you like to sit here? I can scoot in.
C.J. thought it was mighty nice of Gerald to offer to give him the aisle seat, but even still, his discomfort prevailed as C.J. struggled to find polite enough words to turn him down. As he opened his lips to speak, the divine intervention that C.J. had hoped for arrived.
DENNY: Hey! Didn’t I see you completely lay out that backup quarterback at practice yesterday?
C.J. quickly nodded at Gerald in appreciation and moved down to the next row to take a seat next to Denny. Denny actually had a little bit of ‘color’ in his blood, as his mother was from Mexico, but you wouldn’t be able to tell from outward appearances.
C.J.: Oh yeah, you saw that?
DENNY: Haha, I definitely did, dude. His lights were out.
C.J.: Heh, he sure wasn’t too happy about that hit back in the locker room. You’re not on the team are you?
DENNY: Not your team. I play lacrosse here. We practice on the field overlooking your practice fields. I’m Denny Ramirez.
C.J.: C.J. Frank. Nice to meet you. Where abouts are you from?
DENNY: Southern California, really close to Santa Barbara. What about you C.J.?
C.J.: I’ve never been out West. Born and raised in Lubbock, Texas.
DENNY: Never heard of it.
C.J.: It’s quaint, but its home. Texas Tech is out there.
DENNY: Well, that’s all you had to say. I bet the town is going nuts after they didn’t get a bowl game last year.
C.J.: To say they were upset was an understatement. This year looks promising though. So lacrosse is big out West?
DENNY: Not really, but they say I have a natural gift for the sport. It is big here in the Northeast though. My pops played in his day and got me into it.
C.J.: Now that, I’ve noticed. You all going to do big things for BU?
DENNY: We’re sure as hell going to try.
C.J.: Did they give you any money to come here?
DENNY: They gave me some, but it’s no full ride. American University in Washington, D.C. was actually going to give me more.
Gerald was a little embarrassed that he had been brushed off so easily. A casual observer would think he would be used to it at this point in his life, but that was just not the case. He couldn’t stand it. It’s not as though people were constantly being intentionally malicious to him, but Gerald was no stranger to being overlooked or treated like an outsider when he did get acknowledged. He had certainly developed a chip on his shoulder and once he got to BU, he decided it was time to assert himself more and command some respect.
You see, Gerald had been raised as an only child in an affluent neighbor in Georgetown, D.C., and received an obscene amount of attention from his parents in his youth. This attention was welcomed by Gerald at most times, but his parents did have a tendency to become overbearing. They would often attempt to micromanage his childhood, using their own memories and experiences to guide Gerald through life. No one can blame the Eickel’s for this, as they were only trying to lead Gerald to make what they considered the right decisions, and down a path of success. The unfortunately part is that this attention did not radiate from Gerald’s peers as it had from his parents. For various reasons, Gerald would oft find himself as the last pick in dodge ball, the odd man out when classmates paired up for partner oriented tasks (forcing him to awkwardly beg an established duo to allow a trio to form), and alone at his own corner of the cafeteria during lunch time. It was quite a conflict, as Gerald had once been diagnosed as an extrovert and truly did like interacting with others, but these interactions would nary result in a sustained conversation. Others generally would not give Gerald the time of day or the necessary reciprocation of conversation in order to make Gerald feel comfortable in the exchange and not like he was intruding on the personal space of others. Yes, once he had arrived at BU, Gerald decided he needed to assert himself more. At the risk of yet another embarrassing moment, Gerald leaned back over and inserted himself into the conversation.
GERALD: Did you say you considered going to American?
Denny was actually quite startled, as he forgot that he was acquainted with the gentleman behind him. He had grown quite tired of contorting his body to engage in a conversation, but thought better of being rude…it was the first day of classes, and you never know who is the Dean’s kid or worse, who was in Chi Delta Upsilon. Better safe than sorry when making a first impression.
DENNY: Well, I wouldn’t say I considered going there, but they did offer me a full ride to attend.
GERALD: Ah, well it’s certainly a great school. I grew up about 10 minutes away from there.
DENNY: Is that right? I’m Denny; it’s nice to meet you.
GERALD: You’re joking right? We literally met 5 minutes ago…
It was an honest mistake on Denny’s part; short-term memory was not his forte, especially when he wasn’t actively listening. Realizing that Gerald was, in fact, correct, Denny covered for himself.
DENNY: I’m just dogging you bud. I know we were talking earlier. Do you think I’m special or something, Gerry?
Gerald was relieved he hadn’t been forgotten so easily. He let out a nervous chuckle.
GERALD: Haha, I thought you might be messing around, but wasn’t 100% sure. Lot of new faces to take in, you know?
Denny turned back towards the front, catching glances with C.J. on the way. They both rolled their eyes at Gerald’s comments. Luckily for Gerald, he didn’t catch this subtle slight, although, even if he did, he wouldn’t have had much time to analyze it. At that moment, a middle-aged man entered to auditorium, carrying a leather attaché.
DENNY: Professor Colorado, I presume.
Cecil Colorado was of a man of impressive stature. Weighing in at 215 pounds, he stood around 6’ 2”. In his prime ball playing days, Cecil was more like 235 pounds, but alas, atrophy and age often go hand in hand. Holding old age’s other hand is usually male pattern baldness, and Cecil’s ongoing war was no exception. While all of his hair follicles had not completely surrendered, they were losing the push on the front lines at a rapidly accelerating pace. Traces of experience could also be seen in Cecil’s salt and pepper winter beard he was sporting at the time.
CECIL: Good afternoon class. You must forgive my tardiness.
Cecil finally found himself at the bottom of the stairs and behind the lectern. He opened his attaché as he looked out in the crowd to take in the essence of his new batch of pupils.
CECIL: I am Professor Cecil Colorado. You all can call me Cecil, CC, or Captain Colorado…any of those are fine. Obviously, I don’t know any of yours yet, but I will certainly learn all in due time.
Cecil continued to pan over the crowd.
CECIL: Welcome to American Politics 101 with a focus on Neoclassical Economics. If this is your first class this semester, welcome to Boston University as well.
Cecil removed a stapled stack of papers from his attaché and held it up in the air.
CECIL: Does anyone know what this is?
There was no response from the class, other than a few students looking at each other in confusion.
CECIL: Anyone? Alright, well, I’ll tell you. This is the curriculum this semester. I’m supposed to follow this, each session spoon feeding you as much information as the department chair thinks you can handle at time, periodically testing your involvement and comprehension of the material, and assigning you a letter grade based on how shitty your classmates do. How’s that sound?
Again, there was no response but confused looks from the audience.
CECIL: My sentiments exactly.
Cecil proceeded to take the stack of papers and placed them in the trash receptacle. Cecil then reached in his pockets, but came away empty handed.
CECIL: Which one of you was duped by the intense marketing campaigns of Joe Camel in the late 80’s?
Once more, no response, just vacant looks.
CECIL: You all must not be awake yet…even though it is 3PM. Which one of you smokes? I need a light.
STUDENT: I do!
CECIL: Toss that down here would you?
The student reached in his shirt pocket and pulled out a white plastic lighter and tossed it over 17 rows, right into Cecil’s waiting hands. He skeptically eyed the color choice.
C.J.: Nice toss.
Cecil reached back into the wastebasket and pulled out a single sheet of paper. After rolling it up, and lighting it on fire, he dropped the flaming mass back into the waste bin. The crowd let out a unified, audible gasp as smoke began to billow out from the heap.
CECIL: Class, the political environment in this country is rapidly changing. The curriculum you are watching burn to ashes is too static to really do our government, or any government justice. Instead of feeding you the traditional history of how our system came to be and how it ideally should function, we are going to have class discussions on what the system is today and how various factions manipulate it as they vie for control of the countries agenda. No exams, no homework to turn in, only discussions. Frankly, I don’t even care if you are participating in these discussions, but I do expect you will listen quietly and won’t disrupt the rest of the class.
A dull murmur overtook the class. Cecil scanned the faces in the crowd again as Denny leaned over to whisper to C.J.
DENNY: Jackpot.
Denny extended his closed fist. C.J. just turned and smiled, pounding Denny’s fist in agreement.
CECIL: That being said, let’s get started.
Cecil looked at his watch.
CECIL: Because I was so late, we only have about twenty minutes left, so we won’t delve too deep. Where to begin….where to begin? Do you all have any ideas? Is there any part of the political machine that interests you all?
When it became apparent that no one was going to speak up, a young lady in the crowd threw out her question.
YOUNG LADY: Why is that creep Jeremiah Nicklaus still the President? I thought he was impeached or something?
Gerald, who was sitting a few rows in front of the young lady chimed in.
GERALD: He was impeached.
Cecil’s face light up as his attention shifted to Gerald.
CECIL: You sir, what’s your name?
GERALD: Gerald, sir.
CECIL: Cecil.
GERALD: Gerald, Cecil.
CECIL: You’re both correct. Nicklaus was impeached for his alleged infidelities and for lying about it to Congress. Gerald, can you tell us the rest of the story?
Gerald could feel both eyes from each member of the class fixate on him. The room began to become extremely hot under those seemingly incandescent lamps, and Gerald could feel himself in the beginning stages of a full blown nervous sweat. He wiped his brown with his shirtsleeve and began the explanation to the best of his knowledge.
GERALD: Well, sure. I believe that a White House intern was…
CECIL: Hahah, no, Gerald, we all know about the whole scandal. Tell us about the process of removing an official from office.
Gerald began to blush, although he took comfort in knowing that the rest of the class couldn’t tell.
GERALD: Ahem, right. Sorry. Being impeached isn’t the same thing as being thrown out of office; it’s only the first part of it. I believe Congress first votes to see if they want to actually bring charges against the office holder.
CECIL: Right, specifically the U.S. House of Representatives has this power.
GERALD: Ok, the U.S. House of Representatives has a vote to see if they want to charge the office holder with a crime, or if there is no confidence in the office holder. If the majority of the House reps decide that charges are warranted, then the office holder has been ‘impeached’. This is what happened to Nicklaus.
CECIL: Very good. Do you know what happens next?
GERALD: I think so. If the House impeaches the office holder, then I suppose the Senate…
CECIL: You’re going great, Gerald, but let me stop you right there to make sure everyone else is on board. You all are aware of the bicameral nature of our national Congress, correct?
The class seemed to agree that they were aware that the United States Congress was made up of the Senate (upper house) and the House of Representatives (lower house).
CECIL: Fantastic. I won’t get into it then. Continue, Gerald.
GERALD: So, once the office holder is impeached, the Senate then essentially holds a trial, similar to any criminal trial, but the Senators are the jury.
CECIL: Except, in this case, partisanship can have a profound impact on how the jury finds the accused. None of that Twelve Angry Men nonsense. You stay in line with your party or there are severe repercussions. We can get into that at another point.
GERALD: If the Senators find that the charges that were brought up during the impeachment proceedings are valid, and then I guess they would vote in favor of relieving the office holder of his or her duties.
CECIL: That is amazing. We have a real Yuri Trychenian in the crowd. All correct. Each chamber of Congress has power in the process. The Senate cannot remove the person from office unless the House recommends they do so (by impeaching the individual), and the House can only initiate the process; they do not have the final say. I spoke about partisanship a few minutes ago. Partisanship is why Jeremiah Nicklaus is still President. While the entire Congress was in the control of the opposition, the Republican Party, they of course wanted to remove the President, but considering he was a lame duck at that point, it was more important that they bring details of Nicklaus’ personal life to light to assassinate his character, and by proxy, the character of his party before the next Presidential election. While publically embarrassing the President, the same force, partisanship, also prevented him from being removed from office. Nicklaus’ Democrats had just enough seats in the Senate to prevent a two-thirds vote in favor of removing him from office, and voted down party lines to acquit. The whole process was a mere show trial, as the Democrats and Republicans would never go against party lines, but that’s not to say damage to the President’s reputation wasn’t done. Interestingly enough, Nicklaus approval ratings actually increased after the whole scandal unfolded, and it looks like not having Nicklaus’ endorsement may have hurt Fenton Ross’ campaign in the long run, as Ross could not tout the strong economy forged under Nicklaus for fear of being tied to Nicklaus’ infidelities. Perhaps more interesting is the fact that Democrats actually curbed the Republican Revolution that started in 1994, and won a surprising number of seats to tie control of the Senate at 50 apiece. The House remained in Republican control after Election Day.
Cecil could tell that he had piqued the class’s interest. Another young woman raised her hand.
YOUNG WOMAN: If both those guys are tied, who breaks the tie?
CECIL: Good question. Does anyone know who would break the tie in the Senate? Anyone?
Gerald hesitated and looked around to make sure he wasn’t taking someone’s shot to answer and looking like a know it all.
GERALD: The Vice President.
CECIL: Right again Gerald. The Vice President is also the President of the Senate. One of the only meaningful powers the veep actually has is the tie-breaking vote. Unfortunately for the position, they rarely get to exercise this power.
A freshman boy then half-raised his hand. Little did Cecil know this was the first time that this guy had ever, and I mean EVER, participated in a class discussion.
CECIL: No need to raise your hand here. We’re just having a casual discussion. Go ahead…
YOUNG MAN: Tyrone.
CECIL: Yes, Tyrone.
TYRONE: So, who will be the next President?
CECIL: We actually don’t know who will be the next President. This is projected to be the tightest race in recent history. Harper Babington seems to be leading in the latest polls, but Fenton Ross isn’t too far behind. There is plenty of time left for either of them to make a catastrophic misstep. That reminds me, there is a debate in two weeks. Everyone should tune in, as we will discuss in class.
Cecil once again looked at his watch.
CECIL: Well, it looks like we’re out of time for today. Next week, we will discuss activist Supreme Court justices and the Electoral College. Have a nice weekend.
As Cecil and his students were packing up as exiting the auditorium, Denny turned to face C.J.
DENNY: You get any of that?
C.J.: He lost me at American.
DENNY: Truth. I didn’t follow too much either.
Denny continued turning his torso so he was facing Gerald.
DENNY: So, Gerry, you’re pretty good with all that stuff, huh?
GERALD: What stuff are you referring to?
DENNY: The whole government thing…you sounded like a rock star just now.
Gerald couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed.
GERALD: Oh, yeah…well, I’ve somewhat familiar. I’ve always had an interest, but this class may cause me to become more than just a casual observer. It’s amazing the childish games that are played by the people we put in our highest civilian offices. Crazy.
DENNY: Totally. Do you think you could help C.J. here and myself out? Maybe give us a rundown of what ol’ Captain Colorado says each day, in layman’s terms?
Gerald tried to contain his smile. Friends!
GERALD: I think I can do that.
DENNY: Excellent. Well, I'll get up with you later.
Denny and CJ made their exit as Gerald gleefully packed his belongings, savoring the feeling of acceptance that had overtaken his esteem. By the time he gotten everything together, the rest of the class had dissipated as well. Everyone, that is, but a small man who was sitting in the back row. A small man in a dark Italian suit. A small man that Gerald hadn't noticed earlier. A small man who had his eyes locked on to Professor Colorado. As soon as Gerald moved passed him on his exit, the small man whipped his head 90 degrees and gave Gerald a smile and a wink. Gerald nodded his head out of respect, but kept moving. He glanced over his shoulder just as he pushed the doors open, only to see the small man hastily descending the auditorium stairs towards a tense looking professor.
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